Was it ever worth it? Was it just a curse?
He is the exact opposite of the kind of guy I would normally go for, yet I cared - and still do, yet in a different sense - about him very much.
And I just figured out why. The answer was right in front of me the whole time. I just didn't see it, because I didn't want to admit it was the truth.

The reason everything seemed so great with him was because he is everything you're not. He is the perfect distraction from the one person I can't get out of my head, because he is the exact opposite of everything I want. How can I think of you when I'm with your polar opposite?
I guess the only bad side in that is that you're what's good for me.

I mean...down to looks, you two are polar opposites. He is tall and skinny. You're tall, but you actually have a build. His hair is always perfect or it's under a hat. Your hair is curly and a little messy all the time and I love that. You've got these wide, honest eyes, while he has brown eyes, sure...but I never trusted him when I made eye contact with him. He always has to match and make sure everything looks good, where comfort matters more to you, yet you always look good.

And personality? Forget it.
You two would hate each other.
Utterly hate each other.
I consider both of you my close friends. But he is one end of my personality's spectrum where you're the other.
He is the life of the party, the center of attention, the flirt, the one that if he can help it isn't going home alone. Physical relationships mean nothing to him. Actually, very little means anything to him. I like to think I meant something to him, but I severely doubt that.
You...people notice you, whether you realize it or not. People always notice you, but it's not because you're in their face, begging for attention. You're quieter. You're not a complete drunk like he is. I don't want to use the word shy or reserved, but next to him...you are.
People have respect for you.
Him? They don't have to, as long as they're happy he is there.


I don't know how it took this long for this to hit me.
I should have realized it right away.
The only reason we worked was because I was doing everything I could to get over you, because you went and moved back home. I knew I was going to lose you eventually, so I was doing everything I could to get over you before you left me behind. So I went for someone that would make me not think of you.
I thought it was going to work. Then I'd see you and once again, nobody but you existed.


I believe people can be hurt a hundred thousand times over. But I think they can only have their heart broken once.
Because I'm really starting to believe there is only one person out there that you'll never forget.